That Friend From Childhood - 4.

4. Quirky Classroom.

Bree and me were walking down the corridor to our next class.  Normally, I'd never dream of walking with someone like her to class and I was sure neither would she, but we sort of had to keep up the pretense of being "boyfriend/girlfriend", so I guess neither of us had much choice in the matter.

"So how's life on the other side?" she asked suddenly, glancing at my impassive expression as we walked down the hallway.

"Funny. I didn't think you of all people would be interested in my life."

She waved her hands in the air theatrically as I spoke, and all her books spilled out onto the floor.
Sighing, I stopped and squatted down to retrieve them, while she leaned coolly against a locker, tossing back a strip of blonde hair.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I asked, noticing the smug expression on her face.

"Knowing that, it's still sweet of you to get them for me." she replied, grinning cheekily.

"You're taking this thing way too seriously, you do know that?" I said as I stood up, scowling at her. "Ditz."

"You're so cute when you scowl." she chirped, enjoying herself thoroughly. I think she did feel bad though, because she let the ''Ditz" comment go for once. Then, she grabbed my elbow and yanked me into the classroom just as the bell was ringing.

"Boy. Girl." Mr. Mason, the English Lit. teacher, acknowledged us in his usual hostile manner. He nodded to the only seats left, front and center.

This was definitely not my day. I slid into my chair nonchalantly while Bree concentrated on forcing down her stage blush. Might have got an Oscar for that as well.

My mind began to wander as Mr. Mason's lecture settled in above our heads. As it bounced from thought to thought, I inexorably began thinking about Dana and Noel.

Could it really be true ? But from what I had seen till now, even if she was supposedly in a same-sex relationship by her consent, she sure wasn't acting too thrilled about it. Maybe it was a rumor, or just some bitch-talk that had somehow transcended the realm of secrecy.

Well, who could really know about that, hmm?

My mind began to wander as Mr. Mason's lecture settled in above our heads.

"Oi Sunny !" Johnson whispered fiercely from behind. He had been trying and failing to look away from Mr. Mason's hairy nostrils.  To be honest, it was kinda like an impenetrable force, binding one's eyes to those hairs. "Help! I can't look away from the hairy nostrils!"

Beside me, Lillian Taylor, one of our jigsaw buddies, burst into snorting giggles at his exclamation, and Mr. Mason's eyes bore down on her. 

"Miss Taylor, care to explain to the class what on earth is so funny?" 

And then things got...interesting.

Lillian suddenly began to feign choking, locking her hands around her throat and gesturing madly to the door.

"Someone help! she's having an asthma attack!" Some kid yelled from the

back. As if on cue, Lillian took a shuddering gasp and hacked a few good coughs. 

Mr. Mason turned purple and rushed to the phone on his short little legs.

"We need help. Miss Taylor is having an attack, someone run down her inhaler immediately!" He looked frantically around the room. "I don't know if she's got it with her. No, I can't very well ask, she can't breathe. Yes, it's Lillian Taylor. What? Well it's got to be a mistake, are you sure? Oh, I see. Thank you. No no, I'll handle it."

He hung up the phone and Lillian dramatically fell on the floor, pounding the tile and gasping. 

"Get up." He said icily. 

The commotion in the room fell still and everyone stared in wonder at the insane balloon of a man in front of us. 

Even Lillian forgot she couldn't breathe for a moment and looked up at him in fear. 

"I've just been informed that Miss Taylor does not have asthma, so let us all applaud her for her performance."

Lillian laughed weakly and stood up, curtsying to the class. 

"Out of my classroom Miss Taylor, now." 

With one last bow, Lillian glided out of the room and we all shrunk back to our seats. 

"Now, back to the metrical system…"

The bell cut him off and I ducked out of the room, moving towards the office to find Lillian. Someone stepped in my path and I tried to move to the side, but they moved with me. 

"Excuse me." I said testily, feeling my temper rise.

"You're excused." a voice whispered cheekily in my ear.

"Bree." I squeaked, meeting her eyes.

"Happy to see me?" she grinned, dumping her books on me and turning me

towards my next class.

"No." I said after a moment of thought. "Why would I be happy to see a ditz like you?"

"Right. So, partner, there's a party Friday night and you will be

accompanying me. Attire is casual, but make sure you look hot. Not too

hot, get something that says 'I'm sexy but you can't have me because I'm

dating the most gorgeous girl in the universe and I'm lucky to have her.'"

I scoffed and walked away from her without answering. 

"Right," she called, "Pick you up at 7:00." 

The nerve of some people. The point of this experiment was to be me, not one of them.

 But I had to turn off my mind's dastardly laugh to sweet talk Lillian out of detention.

Unfortunately, my talk was not so sweet, and I ended up in detention right alongside Lillian and Johnson as well, who'd had the same idea as me apparently.

"So, she comes up and gives you this big speech about how you are supposed be hot, but not too hot. Basically drool all over her and keep your mouth shut." Johnson said after I told him about what Bree had said.

"And are you going to do that?" Johnson asked, cleaning out his fingernail with a paperclip.

"No. I was hoping we could go visit your aunt." I said and he looked up at me with a grin.

"I believe I'm rubbing off on you." he said with a laugh. I shrugged innocently and pretended to be apologetic when the detention lady shot me a death glare.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

We stopped in front of Johnson's aunt's house after walking there from our

jail sentence. It was a Spanish bungalow painted hot pink and had

imported palm trees planted at evenly spaced intervals around the back.

The yard was decorated with hideous plastic flamingos and it stuck out

like a sore thumb among all the beige and grey houses surrounding the

property.

I'd first met Johnson's aunt Joan at a Christmas party. She was slightly tipsy and was dancing on the table. I didn't realize that it was a she until Joan (also known as J) ripped off her wig and twirled it over "his" head. It came as quite a shock to my mother, who was a cradle Catholic. She nearly fainted and my father had a laughing fit.

Since then, Johnson and I had gone to Aunt Joan's every once and a while to have heart to hearts. It was a pretty fun experience every time.

We rang the doorbell and Aunt J opened the door, dressed in a blue silk robe.

"Hello lovelies! So good to see you! Come in." We followed her back into

her house and perched on the plastic covered furniture. 

"So how's life, darlings?"

"Sunny needs an outfit." Johnson said, skipping past the boring

introductory conversation and getting straight to the point.

"What for?" J asked, looking interested.

"A party." Johnson said. His aunt nodded, and grabbed my hand, pulling us to her bedroom and into the huge walk-in closet.  An hour later, Johnson and I left Aunt Joan's house with grins on our faces and a bundle of clothes in our arms. I'd convinced him to come with me to the party as well. I didn't think Bree would mind too much, plus she ought to know no fucks would be given even if she did.

I was actually beginning to get excited about this upcoming party.